Do you need a counselor?

I had lunch this week with my good friend Dr. John Rowe, a therapist specializing in men's issues. John has spent most of his career working on men's issues and we pondered together why men resist going to counseling. They agree, for example, that their car needs to go to the shop every so often when there's a problem - - or just for maintenance. And yet they don't believe their psychological side ever needs attention.

You do not have to be in a dire situation or have a marriage that is failing to take advantage of a good counselor. My wife and I go just for a "tune-up" every so often.

So I offer you this suggestion: if your partner has suggested counseling for your relationship or if you believe you have some issues that are interfering with relationships, by all means seek out a counselor. There's no logical reason to continue with the pain and damage that psychological issues can inflict on relationships.

If you are not willing to consider counseling, at least do some research online about men's issues and men's lack of awareness about emotional issues. Some men cannot even name an emotion other than anger. (Disclaimer: I know this is not true of all men but my experience is that it is true for a substantial majority.)

Society has programmed us to be tough and fierce competitors and never let our weaknesses show. That is an unadorned recipe for disaster in a relationship. 

There are some helpful resources on the Men in Balance website. Take advantage of some of those and make an appointment with a counselor or your minister just for a check-up.

Click here for an interview with Dr. John Rowe.